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Merick's Journal's: Episode 1: Why Sidewinder is better than Blood Gulch
Posted By: John Kitchen<unskathed777@yahoo.com>
Date: 16 November 2003, 2:39 AM
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Journal Date: 10-12-100, or, well, I just can't remember all the digits anymore.
Hey Mom,
This is just your not-so-beloved son Merick checking in, turns out that Sidewinder was really cold, just like you said.... but I don't wanna hear it. My friend Dozer said that if we could only get a few more Rocket Launchers, then we would have it made in the shade, but those darned Blue people keep on taking them first. I really don't like them. I don't like them, not because they're blue, you already talked to me about discrimination, but because they just killed Sergeant Lou, you know, that sniper you thought was hot.... you didn't hear that from me. Well, anyway, also, they took our last Warthog, seems like Obie (the other sniper) was sleeping or camping, or something like that, so we took his stereo away.
Needless to say, General Dominick is not happy with our performance, so he's sending us to Blood Gulch. I know what your thinking.........the laundry won't be any worse then it usually is.
Much love,
Merick
Journal Date: 15-12-100, or, well, I just can't remember all the digits anymore.
Hey mom,
I just got to cut our bases lawn with tweezers for streaking at the blues' base. I know you don't want to think about it, but just imagine that picture of the MC I caught you looking at that one time, with a bunch of 14.5mm tracer rounds being fired at his crotch, not as fun as I thought it would be. I know you're probably ashamed of me, and probably divorce me from the family when the war is over, but it beats getting my under armor all sweaty. I never knew the game would count streaking around the enemy's base as suicide, so they made me wait an extra 15 seconds to respawn! Can you believe that? Also, one shot to the "area" can kill you, funny huh?
I enjoy it at Blood Gulch and all, but I liked the cold at Sidewinder, because then I would be laughed at instead of shot at for streaking, well, never mind. I didn't just say that. Seems like our relationship is weakening, or maybe your dead, either way I don't like it, and I'm going to cut myself tonight when the MC isn't looking. From now on I'm writing to Lizz.
Journal Date: 19-12-100, forget it.
Hey Lizz,
I just got done mowing down fifteen Bluey's with the Warthog's .50 cal. It was so cool! One thing though, I think the server favors them over us, because a suicide respawn only takes five seconds for them, and 15 for us?
I went streaking at my base today; I didn't get punished because the sergeant said it was bad enough that I didn't die, OUCH!!! Well, as my groin tries to heal what's left, I'll take all 250,000,000 pictures that Obie took, and sort out all the one's without me quivering on the ground. I just found out that Fish could play the guitar. I also found out that mules are two different animals...or maybe that was just my imagination, on account that I have never heard of a mule before. Except for when the MC called me "jack-ass" and told me that it was a form of donkey. I took it as a compliment. I think the Blues' are giving in to our supreme firepower. I think they're actually going to let me shoot a gun today! I'm so happy. They said I would get to shoot the .22! I'll kick butt with that thing!
Love, Merick
Journal Date 25-12-100, ditto.
Hey Baby!
This is so cool! We're actually allowed to leave for Christmas! Except for me, I have to guard the base with my .22, I swear, the Blues' have some kind of Overshield because that gun doesn't do squat to them... Today sucked, I just found out that my friend was dating some chick named Tierra, turned out that's this word he had scribbled on his hand... Never mind that. I actually once wrote your name on my ha- oh, sorry. I hope you can understand my pain, I asked Obie to shoot me in the head because certain things don't grow back in this game. Ahem. He did it, then I pistol whipped the jerk. I can't believe he would really do that. Then I got banned from the server for one whole day! I just sat and watched "Cortana's Gone Wild" all day. They are quite amusing.
Love, Your one and only,
Merick
Join us Next Week for more Merick's Journal's things.
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