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Lost and Found: gAg Part 1.6
Posted By: Mister Frodo<tbone17lig@yahoo.com>
Date: 19 October 2005, 9:45 pm
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(Note: I never planned for this to appear in the series, which is why it's called Part 1.6. And if you can figure out why, you'll nothing. And like it.)
Sev kicked the jeep. Again.
"Stupid piece of-" He glanced up at Dr. BOB and Leafblade. "Little help here, guys?"
"Sorry." Dr. BOB grabbed the instruction manuel. "What the smurf?"
"What?"
"This thing is in tiny print." He squinted. "And I think it's written in Hebrew!"
"Nice." Leafblade leaned against the Warthog. "You know, Ol' Cappy going to be EXTREMELY P.O.ed at us."
"The author is, too." Sev shook his head. "It's his fault. He really should write longer stories."
"So, did you guys see Episode III?"
"Of what?"
"What do you mean, 'of what'? Star Wars! Duh!"
"Oh, yeah. Well, I liked the action and the story, but the lines..."
Sev nodded. "I agree. 'You're breaking my heart...' For Pete's sake! George needs to write better."
"Yeah, maybe he could take lessons from whoever wrote the Halo scripts..."
"Why are we talking about George Lucas' diminished ability to write? We need to get this 'Hog moving!"
Leafblade shrugged. "I don't know why. Alright, come on."
"Wait." Sev touched a button on his wrist. "Anduril, do you copy? Over?"
"Over? Over where? Over there?"
"Shut up."
Sev slammed his wrist. "Anduril, do you copy? Over!"
"Right here." Anduril popped up. "You don't need to shout."
"I wasn't shouting. I was speaking loudly. There's a difference."
"Yeah, right."
"Listen, get us some coordinates to the base."
"No."
"What do you mean, no?"
"Cappy doesn't want you having any. You have to get back yourselves."
"He knows we're gone?"
"Yeah. And you might want to stay out there, you know, until he...cools down."
Dr. BOB crouched down. "Maybe something is wrong with the engine."
"What are you talking about?" Leafblade jumped behind the driver's wheel. "There's nothing wrong with the Warthog."
"Then why are you still here?"
"Because Mister Strength of Seven is delaying us, that's why." He glared at Sev. "Stop chatting and get in the jeep."
"Smurf. I do what I want."
"No you don't, idiot."
"Don't call me an idiot!"
"Don't call me a...a..." He scratched his chin. "What did you call me?"
"Well, in the second grade, I called you a bozo."
"Fine. Don't call me a bozo."
"Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great."
"What are you doing?"
"Annoying you. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great. Great."
"Shut up!"
"Not until you apologize."
"For what?"
"For calling me an idiot!"
"We're so past that!"
Dr. BOB clapped his hands. "Okay, guys, let's go."
"Fine."
They jumped into the 'Hog. Leafblade put his foot down on the pedal.
"Think we can find our way back?"
"Yeah, but it's going to take awhile. We still have, like, 300 words to go."
"Darn it."
They drove on in silence. Dr. BOB pulled out a phone.
"Hey, guys, can I order pizza?"
"No."
"Smurf. You guys suck."
"Thank you."
-----------------------------------------------------------
The cloaked warrior edged forward. Years of training, years of preparation, and this. Hunting three idiots, their lazy A.I., and a P.O.ed captain. What a waste of time.
He rounded the bend and looked over it. A jeep roared by, the idiots inside chattering away.
"So, who's your favorite Halo character?"
"Probably MC."
"Arbiter all the way."
"The Arbiter stinks. I hope he dies in the next game."
"Yes, and where would they get the romance from?"
"Good point."
The warrior shook his head. He readied his sniper rifle.
"Hey, what's that?"
The idiots looked up. The warrior stared down at himself.
His camo had deactivated!
"Hey, you there!" The driver jumped out and walked up to the bottom of the bend. "Do you know where the Red Base is?"
"I do not need to talk to the likes of you." The warrior raised his gun. "I am ordered by the 1337 to eliminate you and your pathetic team."
"What? What did you say? You're going to have to speak louder than that."
"Die."
The warrior fired. His sniper shot pierced the idiot's armor, sending him to the ground. The gunner jumped out and rushed up to his fallen comrade.
"Leafblade! I didn't mean what I said about you being a bozo! Speak to me!"
"He is just paralyzed." The warrior landed at the base of the bend. "As you will all be."
"What the smurf are you-"
The warrior threw a grenade to the floor. Gas poured from its top. The other two idiots fell, unconcious.
The warrior touched a button on his comlink. "I have the three in custody, Master."
"Excellent. Report back to base."
"Right away, Master." He clicked off the radio and stopped. How on Earth was he going to carry three Spartans all the way to the secret base?
"Darn it. Dude, you've got to get a Dell."
The warrior turned. A Spartan punched him in the face.
"I'll take these idiots, thank you very much."
The warrior's eyes beheld the Spartan carrying the three idiots away. Then...black.
(So it went crazy again. Better to overshoot than to undershoot.)
^^Over and Out^^
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